Katie Writes: New Growth & Puppy Love

          Ok. It's been awhile since either Mom or I have checked in, so hello again! A new season has overcome us and we are basking in another glorious Seattle summer. Seattlites may or may not have been known to tell non Seattlites that it ONLY rains around these parts...our effort to keep outsiders away has worked thus far! It's been 82 and sunny and I just can't get enough! This summer started out slowly. I was so excited to come home after a very stressful end to the school year. I had exhausted myself out so egregiously that I had given myself a thyroid disorder where my body literally thought I was in "flight" mode 24/7, it was AWFUL! Twitchy eyes, fast heart beat, inability to sleep, no thank you. Once that was dunzo, I could finally enjoy my summer, right? Wrong. I was caught up in yet another unhealthy infatuation back in California, hoping the distance wouldn't change anything. Wrong. Another dud, what're you gonna do? Unfortunately it took me almost half the summer to say, "adios" to this one. Another season wasted on a jerk? Come on, Katie...get it together! 
           For my summer job, I'm working as a nanny. I nanny a 10 month old cutie pie, Zack two days a week for 8 hours on those days. Let me tell you, the kid's adorable but being in an empty house with someone who sleeps most of the day and who doesn't answer my pressing relationship questions can leave a girl with a lot of thoughts! Why isn't he texting me? Is Crossfit seriously cooler than me? Is Crossfit seriously cooler than everything?  Yuck. Someone needs to re-evaluate herself...

          Although little Zack doesn't say much (he is finally kind of saying, "ball"...more like "bah" hey! I'll take it, "Ls" are hard!) he does bring me so much joy and I love his little hugs. I've watched him go from scooting around the floor to standing and even walking! He took 5 steps last Friday and only stopped because we were both so excited. Watching kids learn new things is probably my favorite part about nannying. I taught him how to clap, blow kisses, wave good bye, give raspberries on my leg and other various useful mannerisms that he will use for the rest of his life! Not a day goes by I don't blow raspberries on at least one person's leg. I'm glad this little man could bring me so much simple joy when once again some loser was causing me so much heartache.
            Long sad phone calls, a couple tears, plane tickets purchased and plane tickets refunded and here I am again, back from the edge of the limb, safe, alone and happy. Just a quick side note, you cannot change someone and the way someone treats you is a reflection on THEM. You can be the juiciest peach in the world but some people are only fascinated with the way peaches bruise. Anyway, the title of this blog post is "New Growth" because here I am reflecting once again on who I am, how I really want to fit into this world and the new growth I've experienced as of late. As I reflect, three certain "growths" (that sounds gross) have really stood out to me. Of course there is Zack, who I try to install good character in every Monday and Thursday hoping it will translate into him being a perfect gentleman in the future...although currently he loves to slap my boobs and clap afterwards...I guess it's a work in progress! His growth amazes me, and reminds me how much I love the career path I'm headed in and how perfect young innocence is. The second little growing baby comes in the form of a hound. As I watch my brand new golden retriever puppy, Bia sleeping next to me as I type, I'm taking a deep breath in the wonderful way people, decisions, feelings and puppies grow and change every single day. 
         

  Anyone who knows me knows that golden retrievers are my favorite dog in the world. I knew I would become a golden puppy mommy at some point and had no idea I would find my dream dog so soon. Bia (Bee-ya) found me at the most perfect time. A vulnerable time when literally all I wanted to do was take care of something, nurture something and spill all of this unrequited love into something...or someone who would love me back unconditionally. People are a bit risky, and while I have no problem at all with loving without fear, there's just nothing questionable or risky about loving a dog. I've gone out on a few too many limbs lately and now it's time to reel it in and let my "love tank" fill back up. I knew she was "the one" as soon as I saw her. Darker red in color like the goldens I grew up with...long legged, furrowed brow, big beautiful mom and dad, I needed her! Her breeder lives in San Diego and on an airplane she arrived. As soon as I took her out of her little traveling crate at United Airline cargo shipping grounds, my life seriously changed forever. I didn't realize how quickly I could fall in love with my first little furry baby, but I think she fell in love with me just as fast. I've had puppies before, our dachshunds Lizzie and Moo, but I was never the one taking them out to potty at 3:58 a.m. or singing them to sleep when they were whimpering in the car. That's love, let me tell you!  
              So far on our 8 day long relationship, we've learned a lot about each other. We both love to run (together!!). We love cuddles, kisses and Jack Johnson's voice to cure our sad cries. While little B is physically growing every day (her legs are seriously so LONG!), her heart grows too. Our hearts grow for each other, and like I told our other dogs...love doesn't divide, it multiplies! New family members mean more love! Isn't that something? Love multiplies and it's the most important new growth in our life of all. Now I understand why my mom could never answer when I would ask her who she loved more between my brother and me, ha! Sorry, Mom. Little Miss Bia has reminded me of how full of love my heart is and how quickly I can love again and how fast it can grow. This new surge of growth of love in my life is exhilarating. It's a pretty remarkable thing that one person can bring you down so low and the very next day you can find a new corner in your heart for a brand new love. It saddens me when people are heartbroken and decide to stay that way. I believe it's a common misconception that heartbreaks steal love that you can never get back. Maybe I have short term memory problems, or am too impressionable, but I wouldn't want to be any other way. 
               If only people would love each other like dogs love us. My favorite quote from the movie and book, Marley & Me says this, “A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not."

              I so badly want people to love with the first intuition, exuberance and loyalty that dogs do; In the relentless way that is so apparent on Bia's face when she comes running toward me. Dogs are a wonderful example of simple joy and fearless love. So many of us have a dog or have experienced their love, yet humans still can't manage to love so endlessly...Why is that? 
             For me, summer 2014 was one for the books. Not for the wild nights or short-lived, steamy fall-expiration dated romances, but for the decisions I've had to make in letting go once again, and the decision to welcome love back another time in a new way for my new fluffy little best friend and anyone else who belongs in my love path. It was a summer of coordinating apartment move-ins from three states away, purchasing big girl items like bowls and plates (for my first apartment!) creating new adult relationships with family members I hadn't seen in 11 years, and most of all reaffirming my belief in love no matter how many times a heart breaks. "I've been dating since I was 14!! Where is he!?" is no longer what I scream at my mom (ha ha). All in due time, Katie.
              So cheers to new growth, accepting new challenges with an open heart and welcoming love back. Hey! It's a dog-love-dog world right?